Change your perspective, change your life

I recently made a change in my life. A really simple, very easy-to-make change, that anyone can (and in my opinion should) make. And all it took was a little change in perspective. Call it a life hack. Call it a "Pro Tip". I don't care. Just make it happen.

There's so much "bad" in this world. Bad language. Bad Medicine. Badminton. Ok, maybe not that last one. But Bad Food is another. And that's where our simple change can make all the difference.

Candy bars get a bad rap. They're filled with sugar. They're high in fat. It's nothing but empty calories. But they're also not nutritionally insignificant. If all you had to eat in your bunker after total destruction of the earth was a factory full of Snickers bars, you'd survive. Your quality of life would be questionable, but at that point you've got bigger fish to fry.

Candy bars are nothing but untapped energy. Delicious, delicious energy. Stored in a beautiful chocolate shell, filled with caramel and nougat. Fuel for whatever the day brings. As such they should be branded in a way to reflect these scientifically proven statements.

Compare and contrast these questions posed below: (Written in the style of Highlights for Children magazine Goofus and Gallant)

"Hey Ma, can I have a candy bar?" - Goofus

Of course his Ma said no. This kid barely brushes his teeth even though he can be found in a Highlights magazine in every pediatric dentist's office in the country.

"Hello Mother, may I please have an Energy bar?" - Gallant

WHAT MOTHER IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD DENY THEIR PERFECT LITTLE GALLANT BOY AN ENERGY BAR? Am I right or am I right? So don't call them Candy Bars any longer. They will now forever be known as "Energy Bars".

I've had two Energy Bars already today. Don't worry, they were mini-size. And a handful of Energy Rocks (That's M&Ms if you didn't already know). And I don't feel guilty like I would have had I eaten a handful of M&Ms, a mini Kit-Kat, and a mini MilkyWay bar and called it "Candy". Even if they were full-size, they're just Energy bars!

Don't get me wrong, too much of a good thing can turn into a bad thing. Don't overdo it. Remember what Wilford Brimley says: "Diabeetus". You don't want to catch that shit. It can literally kill you. So moderation is key to "Energy Bar" consumption. So shift your perspective and change your life... Next time you're at the gas station, pick up an Energy bar for me... My two favorites are Reese's Big Cups and MilkyWay bars.