Disney Dad

I'm back with another post about a dream... Not something aspirational, but rather a vivid dream that I had last night... I don't remember all of the details but the reoccurring theme was being recognized for something I am definitely not.

So we were at a Theme Park, felt like Universal Studios to me but it was definitely Disney-themed. And in today's Merger and Acquisition environment, that's totally possible. I don't know who I was with, probably my family, but I was by myself most of the time, except for all the hundreds of people also visiting the park too. People kept coming up to me and complimenting me for the site. Somehow I was a pseudo- celebrity up in herrrre.

The strongest and most remembered part of the dream was me walking into a food spot and walking up to a bar-type ordering counter. There wasn't a line you just walked up and ordered like you would at a bar. Basically first come, first serve type of situation. (Which at a theme park is definitely the way to go. LOL.) I'm only going to order one little dessert and a bottle of water. There were three of us who all moseyed up to the bar at the same time. We all waited for a few seconds until the "bartender" turned around and said, "OK, who was here first?" In my Midwest nicety, I said nothing. Actually, I made my case to the others that I would be quick, I'm only ordering one thing and a bottle of water and paying with my credit card. The other fellas chimed in at the same time but middle guy (I was on the outside right) was advocating that I should go first because he read or viewed my "DisneyDads.com" website just that previous week and he was a big fan of my work. And I was only ordering two things. I shyly thanked him and encouraged him to keep hitting that Like and Subscribe button... Because there's nothing like YouTube humor. Then left guy started asking him questions and the conversation went sideways. I don't know what they were saying so me and the bartender got to ordering. I was told this was the spot for the oatmeal cookie dessert. But I didn't know what it was called so my simple and quick order took way longer than anticipated and it made me laugh. I love inside jokes and that one was about as inside as it gets. Again, you know that this has to be a dream if I'm ordering an oatmeal cookie, the worst of all cookies. Don't get me wrong, I'll still choke one down, because after all, even bad sex is still sex. (I think I got my analogies mixed up, and since my delete key doesn't work it's staying...) So as I'm waiting for my order, the guys are still jabber-jawing and I join the conversation. I don't remember what we were saying but I do remember doing some schtick and just roasting Left guy. I told a joke and then I would wink at the bartender when everyone started laughing. Eventually, I received my oatmeal cookie and I went outside to enjoy my sought-after prize.

I'm not a Disney Dad. I enjoy going once in a while but I don't need multiple trips a year. There are too many people and people are not my favorite. I love MY people, but regular people can just go kick rocks...

That's what I think of when I think of a "Disney Dad". Very weak pullout game. He's got too many kids. He's got the shoes but none of the kids are wearing theirs. He's pushing a stroller but carrying a kid. He's wearing a backpack that is overstuffed by 7 lbs. But you need those extra diapers because all that excitement is going to make the baby shit more... He's barely smiling. This is fun! At least that's what his wife demands. But he's not happy. All he wanted was a backrub. How did we get here is the one question he keeps asking himself. The only thing missing is matching outfits and/or t-shirts. His says something like Di$ney Dad, because after all, he's the one paying for it... Oh, and a crying child. Then it would summarize the Disney experience perfectly.

I have several fond Disney Park moments. Like when I was about 17 years old and was visiting with our show choir and we were leaving the park, there was a kid screaming his head off. I was determined to cheer him up but all I did was scream back at him. "STOP CRYING! YOU'RE IN THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH!" It didn't work. That kid probably has kids of his own now. I hope he's happy now. Makes me happy to think back on that moment...

But my absolute favorite Disney moment was when we visited Orlando with the Walkers and stole parking every day we attended. We both probably saved $100 and it felt soooooo good to stick it to that mouse... We didn't intentionally mean for it to happen, it just so happens that the condo we stayed at was close to the back entrance and our GPS brought us through that way on the first day. We knew it was a hack that we would repeat on subsequent days. We were 'supposed' to exit the park and pay, but before you exited, there was a turnaround loop that allowed you to get in line like you had just paid. It was a happy accident that we happily repeated each day. But don't feel too bad for the rat, we more than made up for it in the parks... Seriously that's one of my favorite memories of Florida Disney...

I searched for DisneyDads.com but there's nothing operational about it. So someone owns it and isn't doing anything with it. So it's possible someone could buy it and turn it into something where you get recognized at actual Disney Parks for running. As for me, I'm staying home and watching hockey on TV with my dog.