From Australia, with Love

We've just passed the International date line at 33,000 feet at a smooth 578 mph. My body doesn't feel like we're moving that fast. In fact, I feel quite comfortable. Perhaps it's the jazz music being pumped in my ears on the airline-provided Bang and Olufsen headphones. Or the Tito's vodka I just gulped. Or the fact that I can fully lie down in the business class seat that I'm sitting in. I'm heading back to Los Angeles after a nearly two-week vacation in Australia. I needed that. Way more than I'd care to admit. Even my wife commented on my attitude before we left. So I know it must have been bad. I'm sure I've been a bear. I needed to get away. I needed to get out of the heat. My neurospicy brain needed to unplug. 

We had a wonderful trip. We saw a lot of cool shit. But you know what, we also didn't even scratch the surface. And that was intentional. For example one day we woke up late, hopped on a ferry, and rode it for about 45 minutes. When we got off we immediately went to lunch. We gorged ourselves on fish and so many chips. (Chicken salt FTW!) Then when we were finished we immediately hopped back on the ferry and took it back to our hotel. Then we chilled out in the hotel room for the rest of the day and went to bed. I couldn't have asked for a better day. Oh, and it was a little gloomy and overcast, so that made me really fucking happy. (Remember I live in the desert so I don't see those kinds of days very often.) I have a neurospicy kid too so these days help us reset for the big days, like when we climbed the Sydney Harbour Bridge. 

I've been trying to document things on Facebook, mostly for me/us to go back and look at again in the future, but also to let the family at home keep up with us. Those Grandmas and Aunties are relentless otherwise. The only shitty part about posting on the socials is the judgement you get from your "friends" who make shitty comments like they know your situation.

Y'all know I love food, but when I post a photo of my Macca's brekkie (that's McDonald's breakfast for those who don't speak Australian) and the judgy McJudgertons start in on me for going to a chain fast food restaurant, I get a little defensive. Now Mickey D's is usually the last on my list but sometimes you just have to roll with it. What my friends didn't know is that it was a public holiday (Labour Day, maybe?) where we were. (Each city has its own days.) So most everything was closed. We didn't have a car. We were out in the 'burbs, it was even hard to get an Uber out there. The supply is not like at home. They're not a third-world country or anything, but being a holiday and being way outside the city did not help the situation. We didn't have groceries or a way to get them. But hey, Uber Eats delivers and Maccas is open! A huge bonus that my 14-year-old daughter and 11-year-old son ADORE McNuggets and will scarf down a 20-piece by themselves, even though Aussie Maccas have weird (to us) dipping sauces. So heaps of protein going into their bodies, yes, please. They're already in a strange land with different food, a touch of home for them was huge. I'm not mad at Mr. and Mrs. McJudgerton, but maybe before we make a comment on social media, we take a step back and think about if this is constructive or not. You know, people in glass houses or whatever...

By the way, we got a free Big Mac with our order and it was the best Big Mac we've ever tasted. Even though it was your classic two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun. Also Arden ate McDonalds whenever he was allowed, which was about 6 times in two weeks... Food courts in the mall are vastly different than ours. But they all had a Maccas and a KFC. They love that shit in Australia. But they also have a Kebab place, a killer Chinese food place, a Pho place, a Japanese place, basically all your basic Asian countries are covered... And they're all bangin'. Or bussin' as the kids would say. That's what the rest of us ate in the food courts. I didn't always post my food because I was a little spicy from the Maccas post. But I got over it.

The absolute highlight of the trip was reconnecting with Lynn's Bestie from when she lived in Australia in high school. She spent her Sophomore year attending Castle Hill High where she made connections that she still maintains to this day. It's funny, she didn't want to leave WI to move to Australia but when it came time to move back to WI, she didn't want to leave Australia. She cried when she left Wisconsin and she cried when she left Australia. But not a lot of people know that she lived down under for a spell. 

The second highlight was visiting the Snap-On offices. That was also pretty cool. If you don't know why, then you don't know us so I won't go into it right now...

Anyway, it's funny how one relates to people from other countries. (At least this is how I think anyway.) I see them as different. They talk funny. They eat weird food. They watch different sports even though we both call it football. But at the end of the day, we're all just people. With the same kind of shitty problems that we all have. We all get pimples on our asses. We have to go to the dentist. We all suffer from allergies and have to take Claritin or in Australia's case, Clarityne. (I chuckled when I saw that.) That's why travel is so important. It really gives you perspective. Or maybe not. Maybe it makes you feel better about yourself. Shows you how much better you have it than the rest of the world. That's what it does for me.

I've cried a lot on vacation. Not because I'm sad. But because I realize how fucking lucky I am to be living this life that I live. I know it's not perfect. Far from it. The first cry was on the bridge climb. I had to fight my family to join me on it. (Not physically of course, but I did have to talk them into it.) It took a lot to get them up there. I looked at my son and daughter as we stood at the top of the bridge overlooking the Sydney Harbour and thought to myself, you're doing something right. It doesn't feel like it all the time. But it was a teensy bit of validation, and it came out via tears. I got it out of my system really quickly. No one noticed because I was on the end, and no one was looking behind where I was climbing. The second was on the train that we took from Sydney to Melbourne. It's been a lifelong dream to travel somewhere by train. I know that sounds so stupid and weird. But there's something just romantic about riding the rails. Since I was a kid I wanted to take a fucking train to fucking somewhere! I've suggested it so many times and it's never worked out. But I got my wish on this trip. It was 10 hours of travel, that I'd probably never do again, but it was literally a childhood dream come true. Again, no one noticed the tears because I was looking out the window. The third time was when Lynn and her friend hugged for the first time in over 20 years. It was such a sweet moment. Last time we saw her in person was January of 2001. The Fourth cry was when we were saying our goodbyes to leave Melbourne. Everyone was crying. We just connected on so many levels. We just get each other. (Lynn's friend and I.) We're very similar in our neurospiciness, and I feel like such a kindred spirit in her. We had deep and meaningful conversations about life. It was so much deeper than the surface shit you normally get with someone. She's going through some things so I knew we couldn't mince our words. She's picking up the pieces in her life and really needed a friend or two. I'm glad we could be there for her. If we were both single (god forbid) she would be the first person I would call. (That's not a slam on my wife, she knows how I feel about her.) The fifth time was one night while I was trying to go to sleep. I just feel bad for Lynn's friend and I wish we were closer to help her. Sixth time was when I was walking back to our apartment in Parramatta. I was just coming from checking out the guitar store and I was pondering how I had literally gotten to where I was standing. How did I get to the literal corner I was standing on... And what it took to get there. It's so much more than money. It takes a lot for me to do things, big things like this trip, sometimes. My brain is different and I understand that so much better than I used to. I had also given Lynn's friend a little pep talk about getting out there in the world a few days prior. So I was thinking to myself that not only do you preach it, but you practice what you preach, which for me is really hard sometimes. I was patting myself on the back a little bit. The light changed and I kept walking. I don't think anyone noticed. The seventh time was on the flight that I'm writing this from. Lynn just looked at me and said "Thank you". We stared in each other's eyes and I lost it. We're sitting in fucking business class drinking champagne and eating hot nuts. We had just placed our orders for filet mignon (literally) and Curtis Stone is two rows behind me. (Yes, I said hello. We ate at his restaurant "Gwen" in L.A. a couple of months ago and I told him how much we enjoyed it. Then the flight attendant told me to sit down. A little later she came and asked me who he was. 😂) Just know that none of this is lost on me. I know that this is not normal and I am very, very lucky to be here. 

(Also, I know that we are absolutely wrecking our children for any future air travel we make. But we got such a good deal, we couldn't pass it up. Now that the girl has eaten steak in the sky and then lay down for a nap, it's going to be hard to go back to steerage class.)

So that's 7 cries in 14 days. If you do the math, that's an every-other-day average. It's probably more than one should cry on a vacation, but I needed each and every one. I head home with a bucket overflowing with happiness. I just need to finish the rest of this 14-hour flight.