How to make a Swiftie's Head Explode

The "New Arrivals" bin. That's where I immediately go when I shop at my local record store, Grace Records. It's always where I find the most interesting albums, as they're previously loved discs that someone has chosen to sell to the store. You never know what you're going to find in there. Was this collection into 80's New wave? Jazz? R&B? There can be anything and everything in that bin.

We went to the mall to celebrate Lyza's successful passing of her State-mandated civics test. If she didn't receive an 80% or better, she would be required to take it again in two years. And then if she didn't pass it again, I'm not sure what would have happened... I suppose they ship her to Guantanamo or something... It was a pretty stressful weekend studying. We all quizzed her and she was super nervous going in. She wasn't allowed any of the accommodations she normally gets under her IEP. So we were all sweating it.

She wound up with an 89%. We were all relieved when she texted us after the test was over. So that definitely meant she deserved a treat and dinner wherever she wanted. She chose a treat from Sephora (she's really into makeup these days) and steak. So to the mall we went...

The Gooze and I didn't need anything from the makeup store, so we wandered down to the record store... Records are getting more and more popular and the store is getting crazy with new stuff. The new arrivals are now 4 bins wide! A.J. and I started thumbing through it.

The first record that caught my eye was in the front of the last bin. It was $20, which is a little pricey for a used record, and more than I usually spend for something like this. So I pick it up and start to check it out. It's Taylor Swift's 1989 on Big Machine Records. I'm like oh, that's pretty cool. Just then a girl walking out sees me looking at it and pipes up "You know that Taylor's version is right over there on the wall..."

My retort: "Yeah, I know. But I support Scooter Braun..." Her eyes turned into laser beams as if she could use them to slice my head from my body... She turned away and stomped out of the store in a huff. I know that she's probably on Reddit or some other T.S. message board going "CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS ASSHOLE I SAW AT THE RECORD STORE LAST NIGHT?"

I'm pretty sure I fucked up her entire evening and maybe even her day today. I'm not proud. OK I'm a little proud. But it wasn't my intention, I was just trying to be funny and to tell her that she didn't need to stick her nose where it didn't belong. Like the song says "Karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend..." Maybe someday she'll learn... 😂