Through the eyes of a child

I love spending time with my kids. I spend a lot of time with them, but not nearly enough. I love how they keep me on my toes. I often forget that the world is new to them and they don't know how it all works. And the weirder part is that it's up to me to teach them... It's surreal to me that I'm not one, but two people's parent. Dad. Father. Daddy. I can't believe they let me do this. It just goes to show you that any idiot can be a parent...

I was shocked and humbled on the way to school today with the conversation that I had with the boy... He goes into school early to jam with his Handbell choir on Thursday mornings. (Yeah, he's way cooler than I was at his age.) We had just dropped his sister off at High School, which is new for everyone. We pulled through the dropoff lane and back around out to the street. He was taking it all in. Then he asked, "Where are all the buses?" As we pulled through the neighborhood across the street from the school to make a Uturn, a short bus pulled past our car. "Oh! There's one! {exasperated} Oh, that one is small! Are all the high school buses small?"

Me: "No. They have regular buses too, just like your sister rides. See, they're all over there on this side of the school." The light had changed and the shorty in front of us had moved, so he could now see where the bus depot on the East side of the school was located.

Him: "Oh yeah, I see. Those short buses though, they are the ones that pick you up right in front of your house, aren't they? That would be awesome. I need that. I want that... Skibidi toilet, Ohio, Rizz..." (I may have embellished a little on that last bit, but as a 6th grader, those words are a major part of his vocabulary.)

Me: "Yeah buddy, they pick people up right in front of their house... Just like the girl down the block..." I didn't have the heart to tell him the complete truth. I could only think to myself that it's cool that his perspective is not that someone has some special needs and is required to be picked up directly at their house.

And then I slapped myself back into reality. That's not his perspective at all. It's that he's a lazy, entitled little fucker who thinks that he shouldn't have to walk a block and a half to catch the normal bus, one should be sent to his location like a fucking Uber car to personally transport him to school.

I guess my point here is that it's not always rose-colored glasses that we think these little punks see through. Sometimes it's a pair of Ray-Ban Wayfarers with a built-in camera that cost $300. (This kid is desperate for them since he tried them on at Macy's a few weeks ago.) We've created a monster...

Lest anyone think I'm serious, I'm required by law to say that I'm not. While this is an actual conversation, this is not how he really thinks. He's a great kid with great friends, great grades, and more importantly a great attitude. I love you Mr. Gooze!